"Italy"

"I love you. I love you. I love you."

Three words and eight letters that hold so much meaning and emotion.

Italy is a short, bittersweet story about a couple during the best and worst parts of their marriage. The story starts with the wife questioning her husband "Why don't you tell me you love me more?" he counters the question by asking whether she means: Why doesn't he love her more? or Why he doesn't say I love you more? Later after suffering two miscarriages, the couple has an lovely vacation in Italy that makes them forget about any of their troubles. Once they return home and back to reality they learn the wife has ovarian cancer. She goes through with a trial treatment which she later fails but, despite the obvious pain it causes her, she continues to go through with the treatment to potentially help others with ovarian cancer.

One thing that stood out to me in the story was the husband's demeanor and the way he thinks. He's a man of logic, he thinks analytically and in numbers. He's thinks more like Spock than Kirk, which I find fascinating, but means that emotions don't come easy. It's quite common for men to have troubles expressing their emotions because it is seen as unmasculine and saying I love you opens yourself up to a bigger commitment one that you might not want. However, I don't think it's just a man thing I think it's just rare in women. I myself have trouble expressing my emotions. In fact when a emotional conversation is going on and I need to state my "feelings" the one thing I want to do most is run away from the conversation. Note: The feelings in quotation marks is me "expressing" my abject disgust at the word I can't even type the word without internally cringing. The husband may have trouble saying I love you, because he still feels the way he did when he first said I love you to his wife and doesn't think it's logical to repeat it if his feelings haven't changed. This reluctance to show emotion could also be due to a troubled background where affection wasn't dolled out easily. Trouble communicating emotion doesn't equal a lack of emotion. People who can't freely state their emotions without a care, often do better in showing them, whether through body language or through material things. Sometimes it's just easier to show I love you rather than say those three words.

A stand out point in this story is the courage and immense humanity the wife had to go through those trials and all that pain to help other people. It was something I don't know if I would do in my last moments on earth. I think if it was me I would have been selfish and done whatever I could to make the most of my last days so I wouldn't die with any regrets. Even though this story has a sad ending it shows the audience reading it that the husband deeply regretted not having enough courage or enough time to tell his wife how much he truly and genuinely he loved her. And this story is like an apology to his dead wife and I'm sure the wife knew that he loved her but I also think she would have liked to hear it as well.

"We are only given today and never promised tomorrow.So make sure you tell the people who are special in your life that you love them" - Unknown

Italy by Antonio Elefano

RIP Leonard Nimoy

"Fetching Raymond"

The death penalty is always the subject of great debate where the same questions arise from state to state. Is it right to kill humans no matter there crime? Is the method of which they are executed inhumane? The biggest question is always who and what crimes committed deserve the death penalty?
In preparation for this blog post I did some research on the death penalty this is what i found out: Only 32 states still use capital punishment, in 20 of those 30 states execution is done by lethal injection. The other 12 states use various other methods some of which are rather medieval but in most of these states the way of execution is the inmates choice. 

• Florida, South Carolina and Virginia allow inmates to choose between lethal injection and electrocution.
• If there's nobody to administer a lethal injection in New Hampshire, prisoners can be hanged.
• Death row inmates in Washington can ask for the gallows, too.
• Oklahoma allows electrocution should lethal injection ever become unconstitutional. Utah has a similar clause, but favors a firing squad instead of the chair.

All this info. I got directly from this link if you want to read more:7 Essential Questions About the Death Penalty, Answered

In Fetching Raymond, the title character Raymond who hails from a "white trash" family that has had more than one run in with the law, is put on death row for a decade after killing a dirty cop. There are a number of unethical things that Raymond does leading up to his execution, the main thing being Raymond taking advantage of his brothers and his mother by repeatedly asking for money to pay for his "lawyers" which we find out later he fired. He even goes so far as threatening suicide, repeatedly, because he has this sense of entitlement and he knows how to make his family feel guilty and uses that to his advantage. Unlike Raymond and his other brother Butch, Leon seems to be the only one that has put his life of crime behind him and has become the responsible one with a steady job. However, as they are waiting for Raymond's execution Leon keeps looking at his watch like he can't wait for this to be over so Leon can get out of there. Does this mean he thinks his brother deserves what he's getting?Does Leon even care? The story ends with Leon just going back to work as if nothing happened. Through the reading a question arises in Raymond's case of whether or not he killed the cop in self defense. A cop who has had a vendetta against Raymond and his brothers even vowing to kill Raymond. This same cop who has been involved in a drug syndicate. In the course of the trial Raymond never owns up to acting in self defense saying he wasn't there and he didn't do it. In the end though Raymond asks for forgiveness which kind of confirms that he did kill the cop whether in self defense or in cold blooded murder the audience is meant to make their own inferences. But was it ethical for Raymond to have such a heavy sentence when there was so much evidence to cloud his trial and conviction?

When searching for other content to support this blog post I thought of Led Zeppelin's Gallows Pole which goes perfectly with Fetching Raymond especially with the lyrics: "What did you bring me my brother, to keep me from the Gallows pole?" which shockingly sounds like a direct echo from what Raymond said himself.

So what crimes are deserving of capital punishment? I believe in the death penalty when there is undoubted proof that the crime, that deserves a death sentence, was committed by the person they sentence. I don't want innocent people to die by being wrongly sentenced. However, I understand that our justice system is flawed and that a lot of criminals fall through the cracks. In the link below there is a scene form one of my favorite movies, the Boondock Saints. The opening monologue in the clip gives examples of our flawed justice system along with a certain view on how justice should be dealt with, in their opinion.

Disclosure: This clip contains strong violence and explicit language and if you watch till the end, no animals were hurt in the making of this movie.
The Boondock Saints - Cat Scene


Fetching Raymond by John Grisham

"Tiny Smiling Daddy"

                               
"I'm a supporter of gay rights. And not a closet supporter either. From the time I was a kid, I have never been able to understand attacks upon the gay community. There are so many qualities that make up a human being... by the time I get through with all the things that I really admire about people, what they do with their private parts is probably so low on the list that it is irrelevant." - Paul Newman

"Coming out" and owning who you are has become more and more common because people have started to accept the gay community. However, there are still the "Jesus hates fags" groups who march around with picket signs protesting against the LGBT community. In the Case of Tiny Smiling Daddy a young girl, Kitty, comes out to her father, Stew, and he doesn't take it very well.

 "You're a lesbian? Fine," he said. "You mean nothing to me. You walk out that door, it doesn't matter. And if you come back in, I'm going to spit in your face. I don't care if I'm on my deathbed, I'll still have the energy to spit in your face."

Despite how cruel and harsh this is for a father to say to his daughter it is, unfortunately, not an uncommon reaction among parents. 

Growing Up LGBT in America: View Statistics

Kitty publishes an article in Self magazine that talks about her sexuality and her relationship with her father unbeknownst to her father. Now i'm not saying that the daughter needed to ask permission to publish the article she did however, ethically, need to tell her father that she was publishing it so the father didn't find out from someone other than her. I can understand her reluctance to tell her father when he is not accepting of her life style. I don't know the father's background or why he is so homophobic, it could be his own dysfunctional relationship with his father which he talks about in the story. You kind of feel sorry for Stew because his own ego blinds him from seeing why and how he's lost his daughter. 

I myself am straight however I have a number of friends that are not. I also have a cousin who is bi and my grandmother a Christian woman who loves all 15 of her grandchildren didn't react that badly. My grandmother was much like how Kitty described her father, "my father may love me but he doesn't love the way I live". But unlike Stew my grandmother would never "spit in your face". There are different levels of acceptance and non acceptance and deep down we all want to be accepted for who we are no matter what facade we put up. I would like to hope that maybe in the next generation being gay or transgender or what ever you chose to identify as won't be such a big deal. And I hate to quote Lady Gaga's Born this Way but the simple lyrics about accepting yourself is what made it a gay anthem.

No matter gay, straight or bi
Lesbian, transgender life
I'm on the right track, baby
I was born to survive
No matter black, white or beige
Chola or orient made
I'm on the right track, baby
I was born to be brave

Tiny Smiling Daddy by Mary Gaitskill

"Interpreter of the Maladies"

              

In the Interpreter of Maladies the dynamics of the Das family are explored through their tour guide, Mr. Kapasi as they visit India. The main focus is on Mrs. Das or Mina who after minimal interaction with her children, The little girl stuck out a hand. "Mine too. Mommy, do mine too." "Leave me alone," Mrs. Das said, blowing on her nail and turning her body slightly. "You’re making me mess up.", comes off as a an uncaring mother. Throughout the story Mr. and Mrs. Das seem to be more like siblings to their children rather than parents having the children refer to them by their first names. "Mr. Kapasi found it strange that Mr. Das should refer to his wife by her first name when speaking to the little girl." Later in the story while talking maybe even flirting with their tour guide, Mrs. Das tells Mr. Kapasi that her son, Bobby, isn't her husbands that he is a product of an affair she had with a friend of her husbands. Though Flirting with a married women is unethical it becomes a moot point because after Mrs. Das confession, Mr. Kapasi's crush on her and his respect for her begins to fade.  

He thinks I’m still in love with him. Well, don’t you have anything to say?" "About what?" "About what I've just told you. About my secret, and about how terrible it makes me feel. I feel terrible looking at my children, and at Raj, always terrible. I have terrible urges, Mr. Kapasi, to throw things away. One day I had the urge to throw everything I own out the window, the television, the children, everything. Don’t you think it’s unhealthy?"

If Mrs. Das knows she no longer loves her husband then the ethical thing to do would be to tell him that along with the fact that Bobby isn't his son. However I don't think she ever will because it would disrupt her life more than she wants. I also think she cares at least a little about her children because she knows her son will be hurt the most by the truth coming out. I unfortunately can relate to this situation, my cousin's "father" isn't his biological father. While my Aunt was briefly separated from her long time partner she slept with another man and became pregnant with my cousin. Now I think my Uncle knows but I don't know if my cousin is aware or even the man my she slept with knows. I haven't told him myself because it is not my place to tell him but there is still some guilt I hold in not telling him. I think if my cousin ever did find out he would be that surprised but it would also make sense because when you compare him to his siblings he stands out as not looking like them. The situation reminds me of Ross and Rachel's "break" in the T.V Show Friends, but instead of Ross sleeping with someone else its the other way around and my Aunt ended up pregnant.

When Mrs. Das asks for an interpretation of her marriage, expecting to be coddled Mr. Kapasi is in turn blunt and honest with her: " Is it really pain you feel, Mrs. Das, or is it guilt?". The issue of guilt is a central theme in the story. I believe that Mrs. Das's guilt is personified through the monkeys in the story. They symbolize the guilt of her affair that she always has in the back of her mind, always lurking. And as a result of her airing out her affair to the interpreter, a complete stranger, the object of her guilt, Bobby, is attacked by the monkeys. 

Even though she sometimes gets the urge to "throw away her children" there are worse mothers than Mrs. Das: 13 of the World’s Worst Mothers

Interpreter of the Maladies by Jhumpa Lahiri

"Lust"

Now seeing as I was unable to attend class and partake in the discussion of Susan Minot's Lust I thought I should discuss it in my first blog post. Now Lust focuses on the psychological consequences of  a young women having meaningless sex, this woman who is portrayed as what today some people might call a slut. Merriam Webster defines a slut as " a woman who has many sexual partners", not a person or even a man just a women.

Our society's differentiating views on men and women shows the way we hold men and women to different (often double) standards. For men the more woman you sleep with the more "respect" or "props" you get from your "bros" whereas if a woman were to have "too many" sexual partners she would be judged for it by both men and women. I think my fellow ethics classmate, Marek discusses it very similarly and probably better than me in his blog post: Lust or Love.

The pressure society puts behind sex can be one of the reasons the narrator comes off being rather detached and casual when she is recalling or rather listing her fornication's with all of these men. There is a certain lack of intimacy that she portrays and even when having meaningless sex with someone there is still some pleasurable gratification involved. However the narrator, she seems to separate body and mind especially when she describes herself as just "a body waiting on the rug". Which further pushes another society view where sex doesn't always equal love. 

"They turn casually to look at you, distracted, and get a mild distracted surprise, you're gone. Their blank look tells you that the girl they were fucking is not there anymore. You seem to have disappeared." 

I think by ending the story with those lines Susan Minot gives the audience a look into the confused narrator's mind. In my opinion sex means something different for everybody at different points in their life. We don't all want relationships all the time sometimes we just need the release that comes with a one night stand. However, there are also benefits to being in a relationship, as I call it all the gooey chick flick moments. In the end I think the narrator wanted more than just sex, she wanted the attention and love the comes with being in a relationship.

If you would like to comment and share your thoughts on the story that would be fantastical, no trolls please. : )

Lust by Susan Minot

Introduction

My name is Nicole, i'm an art major at Armstrong, I've never had a blog before and i'm not much of a writer either. This blog is for my ethics class which I chose to fill one of my core class requirements and originally I was skeptical of taking this class because I don't often think existentially. However, the reading and the discussions we have in class so far have really got me thinking about my views on ethical issues. Also with this class I can start incorporating social issues and social commentary into my art which is something I've never done before like writing a blog. 

One thing that I really look forward to in this class is the research project. Mainly because it gives me the excuse to read Lord of the Rings and call it homework. I love books but since I started college I have had a hard time picking up another book, I blame Netflix, but this class has inspired me to get back into reading again.

Now i'm required to keep this blog for ethics and at first I was dreading it, I mean writing a blog, seriously! No one wants to hear me ramble on about ethics, but I think it will be different from your average class work and something I can look forward to. So I don't claim to know much about ethics or keeping a blog but I hope you guys gain something from reading this or at least see my perspective on things and hopefully I don't bore you to bad. I hope you enjoy my blog and i'll see you in class.

Bonus points if you caught the Led Zeppelin reference.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a3HemKGDavw

If there are any grammar Nazis out there feel free to point out any typos in any of my posts, I suck at grammar.